Let me give some details as to how there is too much life currently (all Blade Runner citations are unintended: "What do you want, Roy?" "More life, fucker!"):
It is finals week, and this means that with the 180 exams that I pick up tomorrow, I will have over 250 (!!!!) documents to grade, consisting of exams, papers, and English composition papers and drafts. I will be amazingly and sustainedly busy all week with this.
All classes end Friday; the Friday night composition gig I teach is the FINAL ACT OF FALL SEMESTER. Yay!
I have no interviews so far, and this is making me believe that the academic job market is not for me. Whatever. I have a visiting gig until December 2009. No panic. Repeat. No panic. Come on Patrick, cooperate.
There are various life events I only discuss off-blog, which add to this mix.
What does an asana practice look like in the middle of exam proctoring and running hither and yon (four times to school and back today, for example)?
I went to my stairs at the Y, and did the softest Primary I've done since I was a beginner. The sun salutations HURT. This was uncommon. So I took a really light ujjayi, let the eyes hood a bit, and turned it WAY down; this was Primary at maybe 30 percent.
No full expressions--not in standing poses, not in seated--until, of all oddities, Garbha Pindasana. Jumpbacks to knees and then walk out to chaturanga. Jumpthroughs unaffected, until later when tired. Full expressions of Ubhaya Padangusthasana and Setu Bandhasana. Three wheels. Closing, but I spaced Sirsasana (what can I say, it's that kind of headspace). That was nonsense, because I have great love for Sirsasana. Oh well.
MASSIVE releases of anger, unhappiness, various displeasures. Very much related to things posted recently by 0v0 .
And then I drove across town and led a Primary. I have figured out--no, more like remembered--that EXPRESSION of emotions that swim to the surface is more important than "handling" them in any way. When it swims to the surface, LET IT BREATHE.