Classes began on August 20, which was a Wednesday. Here's what I'm up to:
Monday: afternoon film class; evening screening every other week.
Tuesday: morning contemporary art class which I grade, so I need not attend, but I often do, as those lecture notes are going to be MY lectures, when I teach this next semester. Back to back sessions, roughly 9 am to noon. In late September, I will ALSO be teaching a composition class in another location, from 2-4. FINALLY, I teach my famous Dada-to-Ab-Ex class at night, from 6:30-9:00.
Wednesday: afternoon film class; currently, yoga class at night, which I'm going to get out of, hopefully, by the end of September. Virtually no students come. Enough.
Thursday: the morning contemporary art classes meet again in the morning. I have an evening yoga teaching gig from 7-8 pm. Again, in late September, I will add on a composition teaching gig from 2-4 pm.
Friday: Every Friday night between now and mid-December, I teach a SECOND english composition class, 5:30-8:30.
Saturday: morning yoga gig 40 minutes away, 9:30-10:30 am. Twice a month, I drive to Bloomington, 75 minutes away, for advisor meetings and climbing gym afternoons, which take all day (it's the vacation I allow myself).
Sunday: afternoon yoga teaching from 12:30-2:00. Grading, syllabus maintenance, and research all go here and on Saturdays too.
This is HECTIC, but if I can keep the flood from getting over my head, it's also a magnificent kind of busy.
Today I put in Rocket II, which is a fantastic little power yoga practice. I hadn't done a single backbend all last week (too much school, worry, anxiety, stress) and so I did five, including a Viparita Dandasana hands variation which really helped crack the thoracic back open.
Tomorrow I integrate Ashtanga practice with the weekly schedule. This semester I also write an article-sized piece of work on the "New French Extremism." This semester I ALSO re-do the job market, and go to SF in December for interviews.
Am I busy enough, you think? Four classes, job market, yoga, life?
Kapotasana? What's Kapotasana? :D
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
The Boston wrap-up: Thursday, Backbends, Nephew.
"Thursday. It's quarter to 10 (ED: a.m.) and I'm back in my folks' house, 40 minutes out of the city. The vibes are different today: I'm flying out, it was the final Mysore, I have an additional course to teach in the fall. Hours of turnaround.
I had more power today: vinyasa lighter, higher. No real tiredness in Primary until coming out of the Kurmasanas when a hand slipped (changed my rhythm). Increasing dread, or anxiety, or anticipation (probably a blend, the emotional valence was so dense) as Kapo approaches. (ED: there is a tension in me, when I'm in a Mysore room as I rarely am, with this summer's exception, to GET the pose, to REALLY take something away, which is what's really behind how hard I process backbends when I'm getting Mysore-style instruction) Fingers touching the floor in Bhekasana. Thinking 'hips forward, breathe into chest' in Laghu. Ease. Good.
I set up for Kapo, intending a fingertip dropback, and K was there and we just up and did it. Arch back, slow, hands together, overhead, elbows close together going back, touch, walk in, walk in again. Full-body adjustment: K might be smaller than I am (ED: she comes up to about my collarbones), but she pressed my thighs toward each other, with her thighs outside mine, and at the same time, guided me by the elbows, hands to toes. The outer hips LIT UP with a yellow glow and I could see, in precise anatomical details, the lateral glutes and all of the fascia there. I cannot capture the intensity, no matter what I write here. It was nuts; breathing was all I could do to stay present and still there without freaking completely.
Elbows as close to the floor as they've ever been. A HUGE, and I mean truly MASSIVE, lumbar bend as the hands were taken to the feet. I felt it in three 'notches', increasing and increasing again. Potential I'd not been aware of. Intense everywhere: breath, abs, quads, hip flexors, lateral hips. A HUGE pose. Five more breaths in Kapo B, which made a total of TWENTY-SEVEN breaths in Kapo, and then assisted up.
In Kapo B my hands were actually pawing the floor, trying to keep in contact. Kind of hilarious. I can't tell if that's shoulders, psoas or something else. Anyway, assisted coming up, hands together, retaining nasal breathing, not giving up the breath (ED: VERY IMPORTANT). I sat kneeling for a while, feeling out the pose, learning about it. Lots of sensation at the low shoulder blades, and a lot in the lumbar. Today's adjustment gave me some of the clearest ideas yet about just HOW much bending the spine needs to do, to do that pose.
(ED: here I cut some frustration about the ease with which flexy backbenders might do this pose. There's no point to reproducing that)
K and I got some post-practice chit-chat done in the lobby of BBY as I was about to head out, and I like that; at least I want to give a namaste and a bow, and conversation when I leave someone's room is even better. We talked schedules, measuring time in semesters, Mysore, regulars and dropins, and moving around the country. K said that on my return, if I want, she'd consider teaching me the next pose. I'd wondered about that, and I really don't like asking for poses (it's rude, isn't it?) but whatever comes of it, I'll come back to BBY when I get back to this corner of the country (I have a nephew to visit, after all). That's likely to be May 2009 or later. How ever shall Kapo and I be getting along then?
(ED: there is some reflection here on the difficulties of Kapo B, particularly regarding arm-straightening, but in YouTube videos that I've seen since, it seems to all be about 'hips forward' and the arms follow, so I'm not worried about that. There is also some chitchat about the few people doing the seven deadlies and the two people learning to tic (handstand to wheel), and how I get power from being around advanced poses (which has always been true))
I took over 20 breaths recovery post-Kapo, with knees up as for backbends, to even out the sensations. I took a half-bend standing, and then two full half-bends (hands reaching, arms fully extended) and took the heels up and dropped back. Twice. So--as before. Still heels up, still a lot of breaths to set up, but two drops back. Yay. K and I did up-and-down Urdhva Dhanurasana 3 times, arms-crossed-and-back 3 times and one big wheel, back and up. I wonder what tomorrow's Primary brings? (ED: Tomorrow's (Friday's) Primary would be big and easy, but would come with no dropbacks)
Last night I met my nephew, who is 16 months old (ED: note, this is being written on Friday). I last saw him when he was about 10 WEEKS old, so this was a huge change. At fiast sight, he was suspicious, and giving me the Clint Eastwood eyes. But then he offered his plastic riding car and we made the peace. We were about to share Etch-a-Sketch, but food was arriving so we headed outside to sunshine and oak trees. He offers toys; that's communication right now. I think that as he grows up, he'll be pretty cool. I promised I'd teach him about homophones (ED: such as pair, pare and pear, or too, two and to) and the Leaning Tower of Pisa and who Clint Eastwood is. The presence of this child has really brought a whole nurturing-vibe out of his parents, which mellows their natural tendency toward order and even uptightness. He's softening their anxiety about chaos and messiness, which I really like. And I see now, now that I have first-hand experience, how grandchildren delay answer or replace existential questions, for grandparents. He puts my parents in the present, pulls them back from the future. It is a happy present. Good. All of this 'being there,' these events, ease the decades of shame with which I have long associated that town and that corner of the nation. Also good. (ED: and that's it! Isn't the world potential for change, cool?)
I had more power today: vinyasa lighter, higher. No real tiredness in Primary until coming out of the Kurmasanas when a hand slipped (changed my rhythm). Increasing dread, or anxiety, or anticipation (probably a blend, the emotional valence was so dense) as Kapo approaches. (ED: there is a tension in me, when I'm in a Mysore room as I rarely am, with this summer's exception, to GET the pose, to REALLY take something away, which is what's really behind how hard I process backbends when I'm getting Mysore-style instruction) Fingers touching the floor in Bhekasana. Thinking 'hips forward, breathe into chest' in Laghu. Ease. Good.
I set up for Kapo, intending a fingertip dropback, and K was there and we just up and did it. Arch back, slow, hands together, overhead, elbows close together going back, touch, walk in, walk in again. Full-body adjustment: K might be smaller than I am (ED: she comes up to about my collarbones), but she pressed my thighs toward each other, with her thighs outside mine, and at the same time, guided me by the elbows, hands to toes. The outer hips LIT UP with a yellow glow and I could see, in precise anatomical details, the lateral glutes and all of the fascia there. I cannot capture the intensity, no matter what I write here. It was nuts; breathing was all I could do to stay present and still there without freaking completely.
Elbows as close to the floor as they've ever been. A HUGE, and I mean truly MASSIVE, lumbar bend as the hands were taken to the feet. I felt it in three 'notches', increasing and increasing again. Potential I'd not been aware of. Intense everywhere: breath, abs, quads, hip flexors, lateral hips. A HUGE pose. Five more breaths in Kapo B, which made a total of TWENTY-SEVEN breaths in Kapo, and then assisted up.
In Kapo B my hands were actually pawing the floor, trying to keep in contact. Kind of hilarious. I can't tell if that's shoulders, psoas or something else. Anyway, assisted coming up, hands together, retaining nasal breathing, not giving up the breath (ED: VERY IMPORTANT). I sat kneeling for a while, feeling out the pose, learning about it. Lots of sensation at the low shoulder blades, and a lot in the lumbar. Today's adjustment gave me some of the clearest ideas yet about just HOW much bending the spine needs to do, to do that pose.
(ED: here I cut some frustration about the ease with which flexy backbenders might do this pose. There's no point to reproducing that)
K and I got some post-practice chit-chat done in the lobby of BBY as I was about to head out, and I like that; at least I want to give a namaste and a bow, and conversation when I leave someone's room is even better. We talked schedules, measuring time in semesters, Mysore, regulars and dropins, and moving around the country. K said that on my return, if I want, she'd consider teaching me the next pose. I'd wondered about that, and I really don't like asking for poses (it's rude, isn't it?) but whatever comes of it, I'll come back to BBY when I get back to this corner of the country (I have a nephew to visit, after all). That's likely to be May 2009 or later. How ever shall Kapo and I be getting along then?
(ED: there is some reflection here on the difficulties of Kapo B, particularly regarding arm-straightening, but in YouTube videos that I've seen since, it seems to all be about 'hips forward' and the arms follow, so I'm not worried about that. There is also some chitchat about the few people doing the seven deadlies and the two people learning to tic (handstand to wheel), and how I get power from being around advanced poses (which has always been true))
I took over 20 breaths recovery post-Kapo, with knees up as for backbends, to even out the sensations. I took a half-bend standing, and then two full half-bends (hands reaching, arms fully extended) and took the heels up and dropped back. Twice. So--as before. Still heels up, still a lot of breaths to set up, but two drops back. Yay. K and I did up-and-down Urdhva Dhanurasana 3 times, arms-crossed-and-back 3 times and one big wheel, back and up. I wonder what tomorrow's Primary brings? (ED: Tomorrow's (Friday's) Primary would be big and easy, but would come with no dropbacks)
Last night I met my nephew, who is 16 months old (ED: note, this is being written on Friday). I last saw him when he was about 10 WEEKS old, so this was a huge change. At fiast sight, he was suspicious, and giving me the Clint Eastwood eyes. But then he offered his plastic riding car and we made the peace. We were about to share Etch-a-Sketch, but food was arriving so we headed outside to sunshine and oak trees. He offers toys; that's communication right now. I think that as he grows up, he'll be pretty cool. I promised I'd teach him about homophones (ED: such as pair, pare and pear, or too, two and to) and the Leaning Tower of Pisa and who Clint Eastwood is. The presence of this child has really brought a whole nurturing-vibe out of his parents, which mellows their natural tendency toward order and even uptightness. He's softening their anxiety about chaos and messiness, which I really like. And I see now, now that I have first-hand experience, how grandchildren delay answer or replace existential questions, for grandparents. He puts my parents in the present, pulls them back from the future. It is a happy present. Good. All of this 'being there,' these events, ease the decades of shame with which I have long associated that town and that corner of the nation. Also good. (ED: and that's it! Isn't the world potential for change, cool?)
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Boston: Wednesday, Backbends
There are about 3 legal-pad pages PER DAY for Wednesday and Thursday, so I think I'm going to try to divide them into one post each. No wonder Kapo developments are coming if I'd been processing the pose to this degree. Anyway, to it!
"Wednesday backbending! Tired, even with about seven hours of sleep. Up before the alarm, less inner-organs distress than yesterday; pleased. But tired, good ole generic tired. Mostly guys in the room today: a group of about 8 for most of my practice, maybe 12 by the time I left. Notably more tired, slower, taking some extra breaths, some rest, but still a stout practice. Resistance in the outer hips in everything from updog to Utkatasana. But still fine; in fact, Navasana was easier than usual. Same fun, big Supta K and Kukku. Baddha K felt smaller, but wasn't. I had some weird dread of Intermediate, like performance anxiety. A feeling of relaxation threatened to flip over into enervation, like in action movies where the guy's buddy is shot and the guy tells him to 'stay in the light' or something. So I stayed with power rather than ease. Ease felt deceptive.
"K was all about 'finding the legs' today, from Laghu to Kapo to dropbacks. Thighs pressed toward each other in all three of those. Laghu was all good; I did a Kapo prep (fingertip dropback) which K had me hold for five, and I couldn't get the endurance to come up from it. This was the theme: quads, hip flexors, 'find your legs,' engage, endurance. I did a Kapo on my own and couldn't rise, and then we teamed up on it. 'Hips forward. Find the legs.' Fingers to toes. Then press up. 'Straighten the arms.' Twice. They remained bent. The hip flexors and outer thighs went jelly-anaerobic. I asked them for effort and they just glowed like coals. Again, assisted up.
"I think all of this effort is actually progress. It just doesn't feel like it. Enervation is spooky; it's surrender, it's like dying, you just can NOT get there, wherever there is. I took two half bends to Chakra Dhanurasana (MS calls dropbacks that; doesn't it sound sexier?) and missed them both. In the first, the left arm collapsed under me, and in the second, both did. Too much effort asked of the hip flexors and quads; K asked me what was going on and I said that the stability of the outer thighs doesn't seem to be happening today. Shaky and unable to hold tension--like intense writer's cramp or too many sit ups. K said we'd so some together. Twice up-and-down to UD, then down, five breaths, 'walk in,' 'breathe into your chest,' (and I did, re-finding uddiyana bandha, and boy HOWDY did that ease things up) and then 'inhale up' and it was easier. A great big final squish with vertebrae popping and closing. A lot of sensation on the left side of the thoracic, all next to the shoulder blades. I'd done three Kapo's, each deeper than the one before it, six wheels in two sets of 3, walking in on the third one each time, two clunky dropbacks and 3 more assisted ones. Quite a backbending week this is turning out to be.
"Key elements (ED: again, watch me do this, trying to grok the holistic movement):
Find the legs, engage BIG.
Breathe into the chest: uddiyana bandha!
Press hips forward: that will straighten the arms. I didn't feel restriction in the shoulders, but in the hips--not even physical restriction, but fear telling the psoas to tell the hips not to move and thus the arms not to straighten.
The enervation threat in Kapo is there in Dhanurasana too; put the Bow in the hip flexors; press the feet UP and feel it. It's the SAME.
(ED: next time, the final Boston installment! Another round of Kapo and dropbacks, and the meeting of my nephew, and the changes he's bringing to the family dynamic!)
"Wednesday backbending! Tired, even with about seven hours of sleep. Up before the alarm, less inner-organs distress than yesterday; pleased. But tired, good ole generic tired. Mostly guys in the room today: a group of about 8 for most of my practice, maybe 12 by the time I left. Notably more tired, slower, taking some extra breaths, some rest, but still a stout practice. Resistance in the outer hips in everything from updog to Utkatasana. But still fine; in fact, Navasana was easier than usual. Same fun, big Supta K and Kukku. Baddha K felt smaller, but wasn't. I had some weird dread of Intermediate, like performance anxiety. A feeling of relaxation threatened to flip over into enervation, like in action movies where the guy's buddy is shot and the guy tells him to 'stay in the light' or something. So I stayed with power rather than ease. Ease felt deceptive.
"K was all about 'finding the legs' today, from Laghu to Kapo to dropbacks. Thighs pressed toward each other in all three of those. Laghu was all good; I did a Kapo prep (fingertip dropback) which K had me hold for five, and I couldn't get the endurance to come up from it. This was the theme: quads, hip flexors, 'find your legs,' engage, endurance. I did a Kapo on my own and couldn't rise, and then we teamed up on it. 'Hips forward. Find the legs.' Fingers to toes. Then press up. 'Straighten the arms.' Twice. They remained bent. The hip flexors and outer thighs went jelly-anaerobic. I asked them for effort and they just glowed like coals. Again, assisted up.
"I think all of this effort is actually progress. It just doesn't feel like it. Enervation is spooky; it's surrender, it's like dying, you just can NOT get there, wherever there is. I took two half bends to Chakra Dhanurasana (MS calls dropbacks that; doesn't it sound sexier?) and missed them both. In the first, the left arm collapsed under me, and in the second, both did. Too much effort asked of the hip flexors and quads; K asked me what was going on and I said that the stability of the outer thighs doesn't seem to be happening today. Shaky and unable to hold tension--like intense writer's cramp or too many sit ups. K said we'd so some together. Twice up-and-down to UD, then down, five breaths, 'walk in,' 'breathe into your chest,' (and I did, re-finding uddiyana bandha, and boy HOWDY did that ease things up) and then 'inhale up' and it was easier. A great big final squish with vertebrae popping and closing. A lot of sensation on the left side of the thoracic, all next to the shoulder blades. I'd done three Kapo's, each deeper than the one before it, six wheels in two sets of 3, walking in on the third one each time, two clunky dropbacks and 3 more assisted ones. Quite a backbending week this is turning out to be.
"Key elements (ED: again, watch me do this, trying to grok the holistic movement):
Find the legs, engage BIG.
Breathe into the chest: uddiyana bandha!
Press hips forward: that will straighten the arms. I didn't feel restriction in the shoulders, but in the hips--not even physical restriction, but fear telling the psoas to tell the hips not to move and thus the arms not to straighten.
The enervation threat in Kapo is there in Dhanurasana too; put the Bow in the hip flexors; press the feet UP and feel it. It's the SAME.
(ED: next time, the final Boston installment! Another round of Kapo and dropbacks, and the meeting of my nephew, and the changes he's bringing to the family dynamic!)
Monday, August 18, 2008
My Kapo comes to Indianapolis!
Briefly:
Tonight I touched (not took, but definitely touched) my toes in Kapotasana. This is a first; never before have I made any contact with the feet, here. Minnesota, yes. Boston, yes. But never here.
Carol was assisting, but only with guiding the elbows inward and a little deeper. I kept pressing the hips forward, and walking in with my head, increasing the arch. It was suprisingly easy to pick the hands up and plunk them further. Three times, it took. Then there was contact. I felt the lumbar bend increasing, as I had in Boston, and I walked in on my head, as I'd been instructed to do in MN, along with finding the legs and breathing into the chest, as I'd been instructed in Boston.
It is coming.
Let me explain quickly what this means: Kapo is not, for me, a pose, an asana, a position. It is more like a siddhi, a yogi superpower.
If I can achieve this thing, I can achieve ANY THING. Defiance of gravity, world peace, quietude of the divorce and of that relationship, ANY THING. Invisifreakinbility.
Tonight I touched (not took, but definitely touched) my toes in Kapotasana. This is a first; never before have I made any contact with the feet, here. Minnesota, yes. Boston, yes. But never here.
Carol was assisting, but only with guiding the elbows inward and a little deeper. I kept pressing the hips forward, and walking in with my head, increasing the arch. It was suprisingly easy to pick the hands up and plunk them further. Three times, it took. Then there was contact. I felt the lumbar bend increasing, as I had in Boston, and I walked in on my head, as I'd been instructed to do in MN, along with finding the legs and breathing into the chest, as I'd been instructed in Boston.
It is coming.
Let me explain quickly what this means: Kapo is not, for me, a pose, an asana, a position. It is more like a siddhi, a yogi superpower.
If I can achieve this thing, I can achieve ANY THING. Defiance of gravity, world peace, quietude of the divorce and of that relationship, ANY THING. Invisifreakinbility.
Recent practices, then back to Boston: Cody, family, and yoga
Today I did the Simha Krama (lion sequence) from MS's book, and took a shot at the "advanced" version. All of the additional moves but one are beyond me. But, being a good ashtangi, I'm used to poses being beyond me. It is still a really powerful sequence, and totally changes my mood from "eh I'm not sure" to high positivity. There's something about how it's arranged, that is pure yoga sunshine. Mmm mmm good.
Yesterday, not wanting to, I did my regular practice, which is Primary and up to Kapo. Hard. Good and fluid up to Marichy D, then a bit more tired, but the Intermediate section was pure determination. I neither came up from the fingertip Kapo NOR dropped back from standing. Couldn't get the hip flexors to relax. So be it. Tonight I do the intro-Intermediate class, after subbing someone else's class, so it's gonna be like four hours of yoga.
Boston: here we go, onward to the hipster place to meet CP.
"The Other Side Cafe: true, the hipster rep. Punkish alt rock playing loudly, black and leather and wood decor, pipework and whatnot clearly visible toward the ceiling, weird angles in the architecture, a balcony, black-and-white photos on the wall, hip staff in tight clothing with cool shoes, mid-90s frames, keychains and just-outta-bed do's. Nice! Movie projection screen hangs down over the espresso machine. 'The Washington' is a Guinness with a shot of espresso. If it were after noon, I would definitely sample from this beer menu: everything from PBR to Dogfish Head. Still feeling some inner shakiness from the change in diet and in toxicity levels (ED: what's this about? Well, after having eaten cow for the first time in over a YEAR on Sunday night, Monday night saw me with some serious discomfort in the internal organs, which kept me up for over an hour. Eventually it backed off, and there wasn't a sign of it in yoga practice, but I spent much of Tuesday being wary of it. Also, there's second-hand smoke in my parents' place, and more chemicals such as food preservatives and such, than there ever is, in my place in Indy), but I think food will be good for this. Ginger-lemon tea. Yum! I'm sitting in a left-food-up half lotus, at a high table, about to dig into tasty breakfast. Good times.
(ED: about an hour and a half of chitchat with CP, who is very cool, happens in the meanwhile here)
"Cody and I meet in this hipster joint. It's one of his places from the old days, and the neighborhood's not nearly as shady as his post about Boston led me to believe. I MUST, in any case, have a hipster joint, in all of my travels. Living in the Haight for a month made this EASY. CP and I talk yoga, Star Wars, the Godfather, Salvador Dali, Mysore rumors, blogging, slackerdom, and so on--it is easy, friendly and cool. I'd have more of that anytime. Cody in real life is much like Cody online, but of course that makes no sense if you only know one of those personalities. There is a familiar northeastern energy, and I realize that it's uncommon, in my life experience, to talk yoga here, or with people from here--it's not weird to take classes, but I notice (as makes sense) that I bring the ME who bends, to these classes, and some how no "more local" me is asked for. (ED: that is, the "yoga Patrick" is more recent and more up front for my sense of myself now, whereas that character is kind of novel and marginal, for my parents' understanding of "me"; quite a bit of tangential discussion about this, is on the way)
A certain fragmentation I feel around family does not exist in the studio. A word about this fragmentation: since I moved out of their house in 1988 and much more formally in 1994, to say nothing of my wholesale reinvention in 2002, the 'me' when I'm at my parents' house is much MORE the 1970s-80s-1994 version, whereas the me I live with tends to see only 2002-08 as 'the current me.' One could write a pack of novels here about identity and how one carries a 'briefcase of self' around, as Karen got into not long ago. Of COURSE I'm not 'more' myself in any given NOW than any given THEN, and the Sutras say, essentially, that the actual SELF is quite beyond time. So yes, there is silliness in all of this. Nonetheless, sometimes we must commit silliness. It's always somewhat strange to be in the Northeast, since there is such difference in the filters of storytelling, which exist between my family and me. For example, there were cousins growing up together in the 1980s, pool parties, festivities, good times, true. However, there was also ferocious adolescent biochemistry, and all of the puzzlement and shame (lay Catholics, remember) attached to that. So when we talk about those days, the subjective filters are different and make the story different and also affect the memories of those days.
College tales from the 90s get the same treatment: how many things must I be certain NEVER to mention? How much glossing over and keeping/making safe? At least there weren't expectations about whom I WAS to become, only a few as to whom I was NOT to become. Well, that and all the body silence, but that was a long time ago. Anyway, now that I'm able and willing to talk about yoga, climbing, bodies, relationships, a lot of it is foreign, doesn't have an easy place alongside this accumulation of things which make up 'me' from 15 years ago. The big divorce in the middle complicates these channels even more; that story was never told in what 'I' consider to be its most accurate incarnation. But who is to say what is true, where narrative is concerned? Is it only who emphasizes or de-emphasizes which details? Not metaphysical truth, mind you...narrative truth. Who decides what the history is?
Storytelling. At my partner's request, I took along an 'airplane book,' Louise Erdrich's THE PAINTED DRUM. I liked it; not life-transforming, but loaded with brilliant sentences and good nuggets. Reading makes me want to write, and on the plane I was witness to some ideas about a man who periodically transforms into some sort of great astral cat, sometimes travelling time and space, other times stomping the terra. You've heard me talk about this kind of lycanthropy before; such a narrative also allows for choppy time-space arranging, and play with the structure of the story. It may be a seed. I don't often find direct content or stylistic inspiration in what I read; it's more a conversation with an author's words, or even debate and argument with them. This can even go for style or narrative form. In a way, I forge, pursue, chase an idea through or in some cases against others' books.
Thoughts on quadratus lumborum pain in backbending: having a little bit of it this morning, I think QL pain comes from uneven reaching (or walking in) with the hands in Kapo (or uneven hands in any backbend). I know I reached, trying to hold both feet, and was basically twisting left and right while the back muscles were under big contraction/engagement.
I'm not sore yet, holistically, but I sort of expect to be, by Thursday afternoon. With the sort of quest that is getting up at 5, driving 40 minutes and a 'vacation' stay in that orange room and that good guidance and those 10-20 (!) people, the energy is high, the focus is intense, company is good, and I bring my BIG practice. I'm kickin' my own butt this week."
(ED: next time, Wednesday and Thursday's yoga, a lot of chitchat about Kapo, and meeting my nephew, at 16 months!)
Yesterday, not wanting to, I did my regular practice, which is Primary and up to Kapo. Hard. Good and fluid up to Marichy D, then a bit more tired, but the Intermediate section was pure determination. I neither came up from the fingertip Kapo NOR dropped back from standing. Couldn't get the hip flexors to relax. So be it. Tonight I do the intro-Intermediate class, after subbing someone else's class, so it's gonna be like four hours of yoga.
Boston: here we go, onward to the hipster place to meet CP.
"The Other Side Cafe: true, the hipster rep. Punkish alt rock playing loudly, black and leather and wood decor, pipework and whatnot clearly visible toward the ceiling, weird angles in the architecture, a balcony, black-and-white photos on the wall, hip staff in tight clothing with cool shoes, mid-90s frames, keychains and just-outta-bed do's. Nice! Movie projection screen hangs down over the espresso machine. 'The Washington' is a Guinness with a shot of espresso. If it were after noon, I would definitely sample from this beer menu: everything from PBR to Dogfish Head. Still feeling some inner shakiness from the change in diet and in toxicity levels (ED: what's this about? Well, after having eaten cow for the first time in over a YEAR on Sunday night, Monday night saw me with some serious discomfort in the internal organs, which kept me up for over an hour. Eventually it backed off, and there wasn't a sign of it in yoga practice, but I spent much of Tuesday being wary of it. Also, there's second-hand smoke in my parents' place, and more chemicals such as food preservatives and such, than there ever is, in my place in Indy), but I think food will be good for this. Ginger-lemon tea. Yum! I'm sitting in a left-food-up half lotus, at a high table, about to dig into tasty breakfast. Good times.
(ED: about an hour and a half of chitchat with CP, who is very cool, happens in the meanwhile here)
"Cody and I meet in this hipster joint. It's one of his places from the old days, and the neighborhood's not nearly as shady as his post about Boston led me to believe. I MUST, in any case, have a hipster joint, in all of my travels. Living in the Haight for a month made this EASY. CP and I talk yoga, Star Wars, the Godfather, Salvador Dali, Mysore rumors, blogging, slackerdom, and so on--it is easy, friendly and cool. I'd have more of that anytime. Cody in real life is much like Cody online, but of course that makes no sense if you only know one of those personalities. There is a familiar northeastern energy, and I realize that it's uncommon, in my life experience, to talk yoga here, or with people from here--it's not weird to take classes, but I notice (as makes sense) that I bring the ME who bends, to these classes, and some how no "more local" me is asked for. (ED: that is, the "yoga Patrick" is more recent and more up front for my sense of myself now, whereas that character is kind of novel and marginal, for my parents' understanding of "me"; quite a bit of tangential discussion about this, is on the way)
A certain fragmentation I feel around family does not exist in the studio. A word about this fragmentation: since I moved out of their house in 1988 and much more formally in 1994, to say nothing of my wholesale reinvention in 2002, the 'me' when I'm at my parents' house is much MORE the 1970s-80s-1994 version, whereas the me I live with tends to see only 2002-08 as 'the current me.' One could write a pack of novels here about identity and how one carries a 'briefcase of self' around, as Karen got into not long ago. Of COURSE I'm not 'more' myself in any given NOW than any given THEN, and the Sutras say, essentially, that the actual SELF is quite beyond time. So yes, there is silliness in all of this. Nonetheless, sometimes we must commit silliness. It's always somewhat strange to be in the Northeast, since there is such difference in the filters of storytelling, which exist between my family and me. For example, there were cousins growing up together in the 1980s, pool parties, festivities, good times, true. However, there was also ferocious adolescent biochemistry, and all of the puzzlement and shame (lay Catholics, remember) attached to that. So when we talk about those days, the subjective filters are different and make the story different and also affect the memories of those days.
College tales from the 90s get the same treatment: how many things must I be certain NEVER to mention? How much glossing over and keeping/making safe? At least there weren't expectations about whom I WAS to become, only a few as to whom I was NOT to become. Well, that and all the body silence, but that was a long time ago. Anyway, now that I'm able and willing to talk about yoga, climbing, bodies, relationships, a lot of it is foreign, doesn't have an easy place alongside this accumulation of things which make up 'me' from 15 years ago. The big divorce in the middle complicates these channels even more; that story was never told in what 'I' consider to be its most accurate incarnation. But who is to say what is true, where narrative is concerned? Is it only who emphasizes or de-emphasizes which details? Not metaphysical truth, mind you...narrative truth. Who decides what the history is?
Storytelling. At my partner's request, I took along an 'airplane book,' Louise Erdrich's THE PAINTED DRUM. I liked it; not life-transforming, but loaded with brilliant sentences and good nuggets. Reading makes me want to write, and on the plane I was witness to some ideas about a man who periodically transforms into some sort of great astral cat, sometimes travelling time and space, other times stomping the terra. You've heard me talk about this kind of lycanthropy before; such a narrative also allows for choppy time-space arranging, and play with the structure of the story. It may be a seed. I don't often find direct content or stylistic inspiration in what I read; it's more a conversation with an author's words, or even debate and argument with them. This can even go for style or narrative form. In a way, I forge, pursue, chase an idea through or in some cases against others' books.
Thoughts on quadratus lumborum pain in backbending: having a little bit of it this morning, I think QL pain comes from uneven reaching (or walking in) with the hands in Kapo (or uneven hands in any backbend). I know I reached, trying to hold both feet, and was basically twisting left and right while the back muscles were under big contraction/engagement.
I'm not sore yet, holistically, but I sort of expect to be, by Thursday afternoon. With the sort of quest that is getting up at 5, driving 40 minutes and a 'vacation' stay in that orange room and that good guidance and those 10-20 (!) people, the energy is high, the focus is intense, company is good, and I bring my BIG practice. I'm kickin' my own butt this week."
(ED: next time, Wednesday and Thursday's yoga, a lot of chitchat about Kapo, and meeting my nephew, at 16 months!)
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Boston: Backbends.
"Tuesday morning! Backbending first, it's in the front of my mind. Practice was good, a bit more tired than yesterday, but steady. Same Supta K, same Kukku, and I did head-to-feet in Baddha K, B. Couldn't roll up clean into Urdhva Mukha Paschimo, but that's fine. I laughed about it. Intermediate was just about par for the course. I did my 2-approach Kapo, and hefted myself up from fingertips, with the quads. I like that move now. Then I went back deeper, put my hands on the floor and was about to do Ye Olde Head Walke, when K said, 'hips forward' (and it worked!) and then took my hands to my feet. The left quadratus lumborum wasn't too keen on that, but it cooperated. The lumbar bend increases SO MUCH when the hips and elbows move away from each other; it is definitely the fulcrum. Hands slipped off the toes, but K seemed fine with that. I spent at least 8, maybe 10 breaths down there. Elbows lower, nearly grounded! Breath trying really hard to keep me from freaking the hell out (ED: there is a LOT of fear to be had in Kapo, all that vulnerability, all that openness of really, the ENTIRE front body). I wanted, in part (it would be more accurate to say it was wanted in me), SO badly to get OUT of that backbend. In MN, Matthew had me do 1-3 breaths in the pressup, but K wanted all five. I came up early, so Kapo will be my stopsign for Intermediate, which is cool.
Man, Kapo B happens in the LATERAL THIGHS. Burning! It is the official Jane Fonda pose of 2nd: well, that and Titti C. I did 3 wheels, walked in on the third one, outer quads all lit up with effort. Same as MN--good times, but challenging times!
(ED: look, both below and later, how many times I try to sum up the "key" to backbending. Look how many discoveries I don't seem to realize that I make, one after the other)
Tuesday backbending! The cue to take home about Kapo is 'Hips Forward'. That brings depth, quads, hip flexors, elbows. MUCH more important in Kapo than in even Ustrasana and Laghu V. To see a pic of Kapo, you'd think it's all in the spinal slinkiness and it REALLY isn't. Inhale up, and already abs and quads HOLD. Then up and back, OPEN those stabilizing muscles in the front body. It is the OUTSIDE of the circle where the action is; if anything, the spine is pressed FORWARD, there is this giant CENTRIPETAL FORCE in the front body and maybe a centriFUGAL one in the back body.
Already the panic escapes me; I know it was intense, and K pressed my thighs TOWARD one another, which further cranked the pose into the hip flexors. Mind jumping about, breath the ONLY safe place, the only thing I could secure. Hands moving inward, next to the wet hair of the ponytail. There was some shame and depression after, at having let the freakout get me. I let it be. Then I took a vinyasa and laid out ready to backbend and took a pack of breaths there. Kapo is no longer a pose I'm 'about to do' or 'creeping up on.' I am actively doing it, learning it, learning FROM it.
I was against the mirrored wall, so no fingertip half-bends. No matter; I got up, stood and hung back. Slow, steady, just like I learned in MN. It's weird to see yourself reaching out toward your own image, in a mirror. Then I took the heels up and dropped. No, wait, I didn't. Somehow, in mid-drop, the drop HELD, and FROZE, just for a second. Some switch clicked in the quads and time stopped and movement ceased. Then it was over and my hands were on the mat. I saw that my feet had turned out slightly and instantly swung them in. This nearly totally random hang, this gift from physics--is it the beginning of control in the dropback?
'Control, control, you must learn control,' says Master Yoda. Only one of those before K led me into assisted dropbacks; I asked my quads to pull me standing and they did not. K said, go back and come up with hands overhead, ELBOWS TOGETHER for as long as possible. Opens chest and armpits. I was able to do this dropping, but couldn't stick the concentration, coming up. We did 4 back-and-ups to the wheel, 3 arms-crossed-and-backs, and about an 8-breath back-to-wheel-and-walk-in-and-up. Then a delicious big squish and it was done. Kapo is teaching my dropbacks; what a LABORATORY that pose is. Full of bubbling solutions in test tubes, and electric arcs. Who is the mad scientist? Tomorrow I CHILL more in Kapo.
Backbends: HIPS FORWARD.
Chakra Dhanurasana: ELBOWS TOGETHER.
I am writing this bit in the Boston Public Library, way down on Boylston, as the Other Side Cafe does not open til 10, which is about 10 minutes from now. Cody Pomeray!"
(ED: next installment, we begin with meeting CP in a hipster joint! Reflections on neighborhood and family and the Northeast will also appear, as well as, you know it, more backbends! Until then!)
Man, Kapo B happens in the LATERAL THIGHS. Burning! It is the official Jane Fonda pose of 2nd: well, that and Titti C. I did 3 wheels, walked in on the third one, outer quads all lit up with effort. Same as MN--good times, but challenging times!
(ED: look, both below and later, how many times I try to sum up the "key" to backbending. Look how many discoveries I don't seem to realize that I make, one after the other)
Tuesday backbending! The cue to take home about Kapo is 'Hips Forward'. That brings depth, quads, hip flexors, elbows. MUCH more important in Kapo than in even Ustrasana and Laghu V. To see a pic of Kapo, you'd think it's all in the spinal slinkiness and it REALLY isn't. Inhale up, and already abs and quads HOLD. Then up and back, OPEN those stabilizing muscles in the front body. It is the OUTSIDE of the circle where the action is; if anything, the spine is pressed FORWARD, there is this giant CENTRIPETAL FORCE in the front body and maybe a centriFUGAL one in the back body.
Already the panic escapes me; I know it was intense, and K pressed my thighs TOWARD one another, which further cranked the pose into the hip flexors. Mind jumping about, breath the ONLY safe place, the only thing I could secure. Hands moving inward, next to the wet hair of the ponytail. There was some shame and depression after, at having let the freakout get me. I let it be. Then I took a vinyasa and laid out ready to backbend and took a pack of breaths there. Kapo is no longer a pose I'm 'about to do' or 'creeping up on.' I am actively doing it, learning it, learning FROM it.
I was against the mirrored wall, so no fingertip half-bends. No matter; I got up, stood and hung back. Slow, steady, just like I learned in MN. It's weird to see yourself reaching out toward your own image, in a mirror. Then I took the heels up and dropped. No, wait, I didn't. Somehow, in mid-drop, the drop HELD, and FROZE, just for a second. Some switch clicked in the quads and time stopped and movement ceased. Then it was over and my hands were on the mat. I saw that my feet had turned out slightly and instantly swung them in. This nearly totally random hang, this gift from physics--is it the beginning of control in the dropback?
'Control, control, you must learn control,' says Master Yoda. Only one of those before K led me into assisted dropbacks; I asked my quads to pull me standing and they did not. K said, go back and come up with hands overhead, ELBOWS TOGETHER for as long as possible. Opens chest and armpits. I was able to do this dropping, but couldn't stick the concentration, coming up. We did 4 back-and-ups to the wheel, 3 arms-crossed-and-backs, and about an 8-breath back-to-wheel-and-walk-in-and-up. Then a delicious big squish and it was done. Kapo is teaching my dropbacks; what a LABORATORY that pose is. Full of bubbling solutions in test tubes, and electric arcs. Who is the mad scientist? Tomorrow I CHILL more in Kapo.
Backbends: HIPS FORWARD.
Chakra Dhanurasana: ELBOWS TOGETHER.
I am writing this bit in the Boston Public Library, way down on Boylston, as the Other Side Cafe does not open til 10, which is about 10 minutes from now. Cody Pomeray!"
(ED: next installment, we begin with meeting CP in a hipster joint! Reflections on neighborhood and family and the Northeast will also appear, as well as, you know it, more backbends! Until then!)
Saturday, August 16, 2008
From my Boston journal: Round One!
As before, I'm going to quote directly from my written pages, here, with editorial comments which will be so marked. There is a ton about backbending and yoga, but it's going to be mixed in amongst the tangents, flashbacks and non-chronological rambles. Enjoy!
"The Trip! No Roger Corman intended! Up at 445 for a 645 flight. Smooth and easy at all points. A stop in Detroit, which I spent walking up and down the terminal, people-watching and store-name-reading. Sora, a sushi bar. Empty and closed at 8 am. A dozen different martini bars, all pretending to be breakfast joints with omelettes. Pretty amusing. Providence at 1135, and I got a totally random bump up to first class--Larry had said that as we get mellow and receptive, gifts will accrue to us (ED: like siddhis, perhaps). Of course, for a morning flight, first class just means orange juice in a GLASS, more legroom, and a better view; you also get to leave the plane first.
Clouds, approaching Providence. It's always amazing to see clouds from the top: blue sky is ENDLESS. It exceeds the potential of human vision, you never reach the end of it. So, looking DOWN through partly cloudy skies, I saw a Great Lake and then, the pattern of the land transform from geometrical midwest farms to random, wooded New York and New England landscapes. Trees randomizing the pattern, like rust, mold or fungus. It seemed, as we progressively descended into the city, circling, that we were sinking into DENSER levels of air; clouds would float on the surface of one layer, and taller fluffier forms sat like coral reefs upon the floor of the next layer. Then the density increased too much for clouds, and we were earthbound. Yes, of COURSE water exists down here.
I rented a Dodge Caliber--it's like a mini-station wagon or a short, low SUV. Rides like a tank, holds speed well. Much bigger than I need; I think the company moved me up a notch on rental size; so be it.
(ED: now Sunday evening; Sunday had been the day of travel)
I ate cow to no ill effect (ED: hold that thought). That was a fabulous discovery (I'd been anxious about it). (ED: while I'm pescetarian-vegetarian in Indianapolis, I have sworn to still eat meat if it is served to me by family. They are the one exception to my rule.) One of the major differences here is that I'm seeing a lot more TV. Here are some shockers: reality tv now advertises itself as 'not reality. ACTUALITY.' Actuality? Are they kidding? There is a reality tv show called 'The Principal's Office.' Huh? Are they kidding? And American news programs, have you seen these? All of this spookiness about 'Georgia is an oil-rich region' and no detail, no analysis, about international relations, history; no discourse, no investigation. So wait, wait, people are being killed and imperialism is going down (Hi Vlad! How's the KGB?) and American media is billing it with near-excitement as an oil-soaked fuse for the Third World War? Gross! I'm stunned all over again at this kind of shallowness. Anyway, rant over.
It's nice to have gotten up at 5; it makes getting up at 5 easier. I was in bed at 930, up at 430. Getting my gear together at 5, on the road about 515, parked almost directly outside BBY (ED: abbreviation for the studio at which I'd do all my Mysore) at 6. I went up the shady-looking stairs, really liked the red-orange-yellow-pink decor inside the studio proper, got a quick tour, paid a low sum as a 'new student,' found out that the check-in staff likes Shakespeare (ED: how'd that happen? Well, when asked how to spell my last name, I sometimes saucily reply, 'It's just like you see in Shakespeare' and in the midwest this doesn't often go over, but in the Northeast, it usually does. Yay education! Sorry, those of you who have no idea what my last name is) and LOVED the deep, dark scarlet of the back room and the Mysore room door. Power colors! I went in as K (ED: K runs the room) was finishing Intermediate, and she recommended that I move over to the right side of the room, to "join the club" and not "be a Lone Ranger" over here. So be it. By the time I left there around 740, there were maybe 10 people.
I got one adjustment, in Baddha Konasana B. Crown of head to FEET; not out in front. (ED: K, in email, had said, 'take Primary your first day, then go for your usual practice (by which I still mean, to Kapo) after that') Put the sit bones DOWN, belly BACK. Get ROUND. Really nice stretch for the spine.
Backbends: I did a half-bend, 2 to the wall, one more, then assisted. "Do you drop back?" I answered, "I do, but with heels up, and it's new and still kind of hit and miss." (After all, I'd had 2 days off, plane travel, and perhaps shaky food). We did three assisted drops to Urdhva Dhanurasana, and right up. Inhale-exhale-inhale. Then three cross-arms drops back. GREAT hip flexor stretch; thanks gravity! Then back to Urdhva Dhanurasana, 5 breaths, "walk in" and then with her hands about mid-thigh and really lightly taking me forward, K helped me up. Big action in the quads--ideal! Marvelous. Totally sold. Then the big squish and closing.
People ALL around me were doing bits and pieces of Intermediate. Some were split, some were adding on. I THINK I saw people not take heels in Kapo and some incomplete leg-behind-head poses, and people moving on beyond those, but that's all by the measurement of the really-quite-classical Mysore rooms I've been in, and no comparison or disparagement is intended. Perhaps we'll see how tomorrow goes--K said, 'add your poses.' What, if anything, will I do after Kapo? Tomorrow figures it out. REALLY great, powerful Primary today. Flexible, easy sweat, easy vinyasa, jumped into poses like Purvo, Janus, Mari A. Came up in Dwi Pada from Supta K. Kukkutasana in one roll. Totally friendly Chakrasana. Six backbends in two sets of three, walking in on the third of both sets. SO good. High for two hours afterwards. Ah, and opening chant? K does it later than I'm used to: I had done one side of Mari D when she called 'Samasthiti!'"
(ED: that's it! Days one and two! Tune in next time for my Kapo adventure in Boston and later, meeting Cody Pomeray, the man with the provocative blog post du jour!)
"The Trip! No Roger Corman intended! Up at 445 for a 645 flight. Smooth and easy at all points. A stop in Detroit, which I spent walking up and down the terminal, people-watching and store-name-reading. Sora, a sushi bar. Empty and closed at 8 am. A dozen different martini bars, all pretending to be breakfast joints with omelettes. Pretty amusing. Providence at 1135, and I got a totally random bump up to first class--Larry had said that as we get mellow and receptive, gifts will accrue to us (ED: like siddhis, perhaps). Of course, for a morning flight, first class just means orange juice in a GLASS, more legroom, and a better view; you also get to leave the plane first.
Clouds, approaching Providence. It's always amazing to see clouds from the top: blue sky is ENDLESS. It exceeds the potential of human vision, you never reach the end of it. So, looking DOWN through partly cloudy skies, I saw a Great Lake and then, the pattern of the land transform from geometrical midwest farms to random, wooded New York and New England landscapes. Trees randomizing the pattern, like rust, mold or fungus. It seemed, as we progressively descended into the city, circling, that we were sinking into DENSER levels of air; clouds would float on the surface of one layer, and taller fluffier forms sat like coral reefs upon the floor of the next layer. Then the density increased too much for clouds, and we were earthbound. Yes, of COURSE water exists down here.
I rented a Dodge Caliber--it's like a mini-station wagon or a short, low SUV. Rides like a tank, holds speed well. Much bigger than I need; I think the company moved me up a notch on rental size; so be it.
(ED: now Sunday evening; Sunday had been the day of travel)
I ate cow to no ill effect (ED: hold that thought). That was a fabulous discovery (I'd been anxious about it). (ED: while I'm pescetarian-vegetarian in Indianapolis, I have sworn to still eat meat if it is served to me by family. They are the one exception to my rule.) One of the major differences here is that I'm seeing a lot more TV. Here are some shockers: reality tv now advertises itself as 'not reality. ACTUALITY.' Actuality? Are they kidding? There is a reality tv show called 'The Principal's Office.' Huh? Are they kidding? And American news programs, have you seen these? All of this spookiness about 'Georgia is an oil-rich region' and no detail, no analysis, about international relations, history; no discourse, no investigation. So wait, wait, people are being killed and imperialism is going down (Hi Vlad! How's the KGB?) and American media is billing it with near-excitement as an oil-soaked fuse for the Third World War? Gross! I'm stunned all over again at this kind of shallowness. Anyway, rant over.
It's nice to have gotten up at 5; it makes getting up at 5 easier. I was in bed at 930, up at 430. Getting my gear together at 5, on the road about 515, parked almost directly outside BBY (ED: abbreviation for the studio at which I'd do all my Mysore) at 6. I went up the shady-looking stairs, really liked the red-orange-yellow-pink decor inside the studio proper, got a quick tour, paid a low sum as a 'new student,' found out that the check-in staff likes Shakespeare (ED: how'd that happen? Well, when asked how to spell my last name, I sometimes saucily reply, 'It's just like you see in Shakespeare' and in the midwest this doesn't often go over, but in the Northeast, it usually does. Yay education! Sorry, those of you who have no idea what my last name is) and LOVED the deep, dark scarlet of the back room and the Mysore room door. Power colors! I went in as K (ED: K runs the room) was finishing Intermediate, and she recommended that I move over to the right side of the room, to "join the club" and not "be a Lone Ranger" over here. So be it. By the time I left there around 740, there were maybe 10 people.
I got one adjustment, in Baddha Konasana B. Crown of head to FEET; not out in front. (ED: K, in email, had said, 'take Primary your first day, then go for your usual practice (by which I still mean, to Kapo) after that') Put the sit bones DOWN, belly BACK. Get ROUND. Really nice stretch for the spine.
Backbends: I did a half-bend, 2 to the wall, one more, then assisted. "Do you drop back?" I answered, "I do, but with heels up, and it's new and still kind of hit and miss." (After all, I'd had 2 days off, plane travel, and perhaps shaky food). We did three assisted drops to Urdhva Dhanurasana, and right up. Inhale-exhale-inhale. Then three cross-arms drops back. GREAT hip flexor stretch; thanks gravity! Then back to Urdhva Dhanurasana, 5 breaths, "walk in" and then with her hands about mid-thigh and really lightly taking me forward, K helped me up. Big action in the quads--ideal! Marvelous. Totally sold. Then the big squish and closing.
People ALL around me were doing bits and pieces of Intermediate. Some were split, some were adding on. I THINK I saw people not take heels in Kapo and some incomplete leg-behind-head poses, and people moving on beyond those, but that's all by the measurement of the really-quite-classical Mysore rooms I've been in, and no comparison or disparagement is intended. Perhaps we'll see how tomorrow goes--K said, 'add your poses.' What, if anything, will I do after Kapo? Tomorrow figures it out. REALLY great, powerful Primary today. Flexible, easy sweat, easy vinyasa, jumped into poses like Purvo, Janus, Mari A. Came up in Dwi Pada from Supta K. Kukkutasana in one roll. Totally friendly Chakrasana. Six backbends in two sets of three, walking in on the third of both sets. SO good. High for two hours afterwards. Ah, and opening chant? K does it later than I'm used to: I had done one side of Mari D when she called 'Samasthiti!'"
(ED: that's it! Days one and two! Tune in next time for my Kapo adventure in Boston and later, meeting Cody Pomeray, the man with the provocative blog post du jour!)
Friday, August 15, 2008
What's on deck: Boston, backbending, full-time academics.
I have returned! Rawr!
I went to Boston from Sunday to Thursday and did four days of Mysore-style, which was too marvelous to be brief about. Fear not, I have pages, PAGES, of notes and tangents. ALSO, I met the legendary man with the podcasts, one Cody Pomeray, and CP is fantastic. Go hang out with him in the city. It's good for you.
The most attention-intense parts of my yoga practice were, as you expect, Kapo and backbends. Get ready for several posts running about those. And for my commenters on the prior post--yes, congrats appreciated! And for cautions about bending the back and taking the heels up, yes, I agree! There are developments here, too, from my Boston experiences, and so I will address cautions and advice in the blog posts to come.
Also, I met my nephew, who is 16 months old, and his youth is changing the whole family dynamic up there. That too, was very cool. Also, while in the northeast, there was more meat in my diet than I EVER have over here, but that seems, with one exception, to have been fine.
And finally: a week before classes begin, I suddenly wound up with a THIRD class to teach, which means that I will be teaching two art school classes, one composition class at the community college, and also grading two sections of 80 people each. That's one heck of a lot of work, but more money than I'm used to.
All of this is coming. Right now I have to put syllabi together. But stay posted!
I went to Boston from Sunday to Thursday and did four days of Mysore-style, which was too marvelous to be brief about. Fear not, I have pages, PAGES, of notes and tangents. ALSO, I met the legendary man with the podcasts, one Cody Pomeray, and CP is fantastic. Go hang out with him in the city. It's good for you.
The most attention-intense parts of my yoga practice were, as you expect, Kapo and backbends. Get ready for several posts running about those. And for my commenters on the prior post--yes, congrats appreciated! And for cautions about bending the back and taking the heels up, yes, I agree! There are developments here, too, from my Boston experiences, and so I will address cautions and advice in the blog posts to come.
Also, I met my nephew, who is 16 months old, and his youth is changing the whole family dynamic up there. That too, was very cool. Also, while in the northeast, there was more meat in my diet than I EVER have over here, but that seems, with one exception, to have been fine.
And finally: a week before classes begin, I suddenly wound up with a THIRD class to teach, which means that I will be teaching two art school classes, one composition class at the community college, and also grading two sections of 80 people each. That's one heck of a lot of work, but more money than I'm used to.
All of this is coming. Right now I have to put syllabi together. But stay posted!
Friday, August 8, 2008
I believe I drop back.
I'm not trying to be British, up there.
It's like that wonderful dialogue bit from The Matrix:
"What's he doing?"
"He's beginning to believe."
I mean believe, as in see as possible. Earlier today I was reading around on Liz's quite magnificent blog (gotta get me some key phrases on the right margin!) and there was a like dialogue, from Empire Strikes Back:
"I don't believe it."
"That...is why you fail."
So: Primary on Friday. Outdoors. Cooler today: 77. I felt strong from the get-go and it didn't let up until the Bhuja-Kurmasana section, which is always tough on uneven grass and a folded cotton yoga rug. Right to backbends after Setu Bandhasana (have I mentioned that I love that pose?), four pressups, and then a long hang back on the mat (from standing), arms fully extended, and up. Two "wallbacks" against the garage, hands coming down ALMOST as low as last summer when I was taking a more ballistic, less controlled "wall drop" to practice. Nice! One more hang back at the head of the mat, I could see the back of the mat, and so I took the heels up, followed my hands with the gaze, and dropped back. Hands down, head nowhere close to the floor. Beauty! Still a bit ballistic, but so be it!
I remembered to try to rock up (inhale, take palms up, feet heavy, see if you stand) and it could not be done.
Twice more I did this. Three times back, the last of which took a total of seven breaths (that's inhale, up, exhale back, hands gradually extending away with additional breaths, one more to check the fear, and then drop). It is raw backbending with a bit of cheating involved, but so be it.
Must work on pressing from wheel up to standing. The hip flexors complained, when, from the wheel, I asked them to pull me up. Stretched maximally AND contracting? They were not interested.
So; more of this to do, but now, 3 for 3, I believe I drop back. Very cool.
It's like that wonderful dialogue bit from The Matrix:
"What's he doing?"
"He's beginning to believe."
I mean believe, as in see as possible. Earlier today I was reading around on Liz's quite magnificent blog (gotta get me some key phrases on the right margin!) and there was a like dialogue, from Empire Strikes Back:
"I don't believe it."
"That...is why you fail."
So: Primary on Friday. Outdoors. Cooler today: 77. I felt strong from the get-go and it didn't let up until the Bhuja-Kurmasana section, which is always tough on uneven grass and a folded cotton yoga rug. Right to backbends after Setu Bandhasana (have I mentioned that I love that pose?), four pressups, and then a long hang back on the mat (from standing), arms fully extended, and up. Two "wallbacks" against the garage, hands coming down ALMOST as low as last summer when I was taking a more ballistic, less controlled "wall drop" to practice. Nice! One more hang back at the head of the mat, I could see the back of the mat, and so I took the heels up, followed my hands with the gaze, and dropped back. Hands down, head nowhere close to the floor. Beauty! Still a bit ballistic, but so be it!
I remembered to try to rock up (inhale, take palms up, feet heavy, see if you stand) and it could not be done.
Twice more I did this. Three times back, the last of which took a total of seven breaths (that's inhale, up, exhale back, hands gradually extending away with additional breaths, one more to check the fear, and then drop). It is raw backbending with a bit of cheating involved, but so be it.
Must work on pressing from wheel up to standing. The hip flexors complained, when, from the wheel, I asked them to pull me up. Stretched maximally AND contracting? They were not interested.
So; more of this to do, but now, 3 for 3, I believe I drop back. Very cool.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Backbends.
Primary to Kapo and closing. Backwardsbending is going well, by which I mean, it doesn't hurt during or after.
Matthew's advice about "knees apart" in Bhekasana, makes getting the back arched in that pose about ten times easier. I don't prefer knees apart, but it seems harmless and good for the pose.
Dhanurasanas are still tiring, but more and more, even the low ribs come off the floor, which I like. Feet pointed; push UP with the feet, move the bend into the thoracic area.
Ustrasana benefits greatly from an inhale to get LONG, before an exhale to go BACK. Actually all backbends from here on out, do.
I frequently, if I have my hands free, use them to REALLY encourage the tailbone to tuck; this moves the bend directly from back, to front.
Laghuvajrasana in one go today, with no strain. Inhale, Quads. Exhale, Tops of Feet. Breathe. Five. Inhale, engage quads, press tops of feet. Rise. Vinyasa. That's the formula I use and it works.
Kapotasana I take in two parts: first I fingertip-drop-back and come up, taking several breaths to think length in the spine, hang for the hip flexors, hands overhead, hang, SLOW, breathe, and then exhale back, fingertip floor, inhale hips rock forward, exhale more weight in hands, inhale hips pull me up, hands leave floor, often I hang here whether I want to or not, and today I had to ASK myself to DROP my HEAD BACK in order to come up. Good backbender. Learning.
Second Kapo: on the second round, I take as much of the full pose as I can muster, still doing the hands overhead, the hang back, then the slow drop, hands soundlessly to mat, walk in, see about a second walk-in, head down, push up, walk in, repeat, just like Matthew had me do it. Still no toes, but closer. Closer each time. I tried a fingertip rise, but the quads would not have it. Smoked. So be it.
Directly to Urdhva Dhanurasana: recently, my heels like to come up on my first pressup, and I don't like that, so what I do is come up on an inhale, the heels rise, and I set them down BEFORE the inhale even ends. It's like a super sneaky heel rise, which you can miss in a blink if you're not looking. They do not come up again. Three wheels, five breaths, cueing in to sensation; right now the bend seems to be most muscularly intense right at the bottom of the thoracic/top of the lumbar. It's also, if I press into my hands, in the right armpit. Also, if I turn my feet IN at all, there's substantial sensation in the outer quads and the hip flexors, which I really like; that's where I want the bend to be sensate. Wake up!
Today: three more wheels, just like those. One half-bend back, and I could see the very tip-top end of the mat. Hurrah! Two wall-backs, hands touching about mid-thigh high. Hips are bringing me forward; virtually no hand-spring necessary. Excellent news.
Big sensation in the lower back as the half-bends occur, but that's par for the course, all the way back to early spring play that I was doing with these.
One more big half-bend on the mat, and I let fear get the better of me in dropping back; took the heels up but just could NOT do it, inside. Fear of wooden floor. In Sirsasana, after, I was to discover that the floor is really quite fluffy: a carpet, a 3/8" mat, AND a mysore rug? Dude, that's fluffy. Land on it.
The intense lumbar sensation tends to "rinse out" in the shoulderstand sequence, and I can hit the chakrasana that comes after Uttana Padasana, every time now.
Currently I have no back pain. Otlichnya, as the Russians say!
Matthew's advice about "knees apart" in Bhekasana, makes getting the back arched in that pose about ten times easier. I don't prefer knees apart, but it seems harmless and good for the pose.
Dhanurasanas are still tiring, but more and more, even the low ribs come off the floor, which I like. Feet pointed; push UP with the feet, move the bend into the thoracic area.
Ustrasana benefits greatly from an inhale to get LONG, before an exhale to go BACK. Actually all backbends from here on out, do.
I frequently, if I have my hands free, use them to REALLY encourage the tailbone to tuck; this moves the bend directly from back, to front.
Laghuvajrasana in one go today, with no strain. Inhale, Quads. Exhale, Tops of Feet. Breathe. Five. Inhale, engage quads, press tops of feet. Rise. Vinyasa. That's the formula I use and it works.
Kapotasana I take in two parts: first I fingertip-drop-back and come up, taking several breaths to think length in the spine, hang for the hip flexors, hands overhead, hang, SLOW, breathe, and then exhale back, fingertip floor, inhale hips rock forward, exhale more weight in hands, inhale hips pull me up, hands leave floor, often I hang here whether I want to or not, and today I had to ASK myself to DROP my HEAD BACK in order to come up. Good backbender. Learning.
Second Kapo: on the second round, I take as much of the full pose as I can muster, still doing the hands overhead, the hang back, then the slow drop, hands soundlessly to mat, walk in, see about a second walk-in, head down, push up, walk in, repeat, just like Matthew had me do it. Still no toes, but closer. Closer each time. I tried a fingertip rise, but the quads would not have it. Smoked. So be it.
Directly to Urdhva Dhanurasana: recently, my heels like to come up on my first pressup, and I don't like that, so what I do is come up on an inhale, the heels rise, and I set them down BEFORE the inhale even ends. It's like a super sneaky heel rise, which you can miss in a blink if you're not looking. They do not come up again. Three wheels, five breaths, cueing in to sensation; right now the bend seems to be most muscularly intense right at the bottom of the thoracic/top of the lumbar. It's also, if I press into my hands, in the right armpit. Also, if I turn my feet IN at all, there's substantial sensation in the outer quads and the hip flexors, which I really like; that's where I want the bend to be sensate. Wake up!
Today: three more wheels, just like those. One half-bend back, and I could see the very tip-top end of the mat. Hurrah! Two wall-backs, hands touching about mid-thigh high. Hips are bringing me forward; virtually no hand-spring necessary. Excellent news.
Big sensation in the lower back as the half-bends occur, but that's par for the course, all the way back to early spring play that I was doing with these.
One more big half-bend on the mat, and I let fear get the better of me in dropping back; took the heels up but just could NOT do it, inside. Fear of wooden floor. In Sirsasana, after, I was to discover that the floor is really quite fluffy: a carpet, a 3/8" mat, AND a mysore rug? Dude, that's fluffy. Land on it.
The intense lumbar sensation tends to "rinse out" in the shoulderstand sequence, and I can hit the chakrasana that comes after Uttana Padasana, every time now.
Currently I have no back pain. Otlichnya, as the Russians say!
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Soreness, Lion sequence, August
My first post of August! Hurrah!
I am sore today, right between the shoulder blades, and a little bit into the trapezius. The reason for this is that, in the Monday night Intro to Intermediate, I've now started trying to lotus myself into the first part of Karandavasana (forearm stand, make lotus without your hands, lower it to your forearms, pick it up, exit) and I'm getting regular adjustments in it.
Here's how that class works: Carol, who is the root of all Indy ashtanga, teaches. Lisa and I, both of whom also teach our own things at this studio, are regular students. Various experienced or not-so-much people wander in and out. It's hard to say just who's regular. We always do Intermediate from the first sun salutation to at least Eka Pada Sirsasana, and sometimes if it's a beginnerish crowd we cut Supta Vajrasana, and we usually only do ONE of the two Bakasanas (those who can jump, just do B; those who can't, just do A).
Since some Kapo-able people have been showing up since spring, that pose is now something we actually do. I go back twice: the first time I fingertip the floor and try to rock up (often that works), and then I go back "for real" and Carol gradually and gently helps me walk the hands in; I have yet to touch my feet doing my Indianapolis Kapo, but I got my elbows really near the floor last night. It is coming along.
Eka Pada, since I've been leaving it out of my regular practice, has gotten stiffer on the right side (predictably). I try to twist a bit, to crank MORE shoulder and LESS neck into the thigh, and I usually only lose the behind-head bit when I press up for the exit, which is fine. On the left, I usually stick the whole pose.
Dwi Pada is flexier than Eka Pada; it's as if the hips give me more space once I've done Eka Pada, sort of asking them to loosen up. BUT I think I'm still a bit too round, to clasp the ankles behind my head. If I either had more verticality in the spine or shorter legs, I could hook it no problem, but it's a big flexy, slippery mess, like trying to serve noodles with a spatula.
Recently our goal pose (time-wise) in this class has been Pincha Mayurasana, and we usually do a ton of variations there; some folks go to the wall, some take a shot at Karanda, most everyone gives a Vrschikasana (forearm scorpion; put the feet on or toward your head) a try. Then we run out of time so we backbend and close.
So my Monday-class practice winds up being:
Sun salutations/standing
Pasasana (still no bind, reliably, going to the left)
Krounchasana and "baby" (hah!) backbends
Kapo, progressively deeper
Supta Vajrasana on a good day (cannot hold toes all the way through)
Bakasana and twists
Eka Pada Sirsasana
some kind of effort at Dwi Pada; Yoganidrasana isn't hard
Tittibhasana sequence (which is still hard but enjoyable-hard, if that makes sense)
Pincha (which I'm now sticking on the SECOND try, rather than the first)
Karanda (in which I make lotus with assistance and then burn out in the upper back and the base)
Vrschi (which feels round, but I can't see my feet)
Sometimes I add on Mayurasana and Nakrasana if people are experimenting with Pincha and variations.
Soreness: from trying to hold the lotus upright in Karanda. It's just muscle development, teaching myself to hold Pincha, then exit (which I try to do, to chaturanga), and then popping up AGAIN for Karanda, folding the legs in, which is slow for me, and takes about 10 breaths with help. This means I spend 5-8 breaths in Pincha and then about 13-15 probably in my Karanda variation, and so no freakin' wonder I'm sore in the upper back. But it is coming! I'm stronger every time I try it, and soon I'll be asking Carol if we can play with the lower down. The proprioception (perception of body in space) is killer!
***********************************
I remain deeply enamored of the Lion Sequence from Matthew's Vinyasa Krama book. The opening standing-backbend and lunges are JUST what I need before I kick into sun salutations. SOOOOOOOOOO good on tight hip flexors! Pure happiness! I mean, it SERIOUSLY changes my emotional state for the better, to do a few of these "Chandra Namaskara." Definite magic.
August: here's the schedule. Finish this week; preparation of syllabi, general getting ready for the fall. Go to the Boston area from Aug 10-14. Hit some morning Mysore, find a way to meet Cody. Meet nephew (who is a little over a year old). Hang with family, have good times. Return here for a hectic week of class prep and then begin the fall semester, August 20, with an afternoon film class.
It will be a film class, some grading for an intro-art-history course with 160 students, and as of late September, also an English Composition gig. I will also be doing my second immersion in the job market, and going to a conference in Austin, TX (hi Liz!) in October, and then the big hiring (cross fingers!) conference in San Francisco (!!) at the end of December.
Then in January I'm a Visiting Assistant Professor, and I have meetings, real income (well, real-ER income) and perhaps campus visits and offers of tenure-track employment.
That's the year. If the job market doesn't pay off, I'll scrape cash together over the summer, do my FALL semester of Visiting Assistant, and then get a REAL LIVE JOB for the spring, and that'll be either the year I get hired or the "third strike" in the academic job market, and after that, it's over. Total reinvention. But that's far away, and I'm sure it'll work this year.
I am sore today, right between the shoulder blades, and a little bit into the trapezius. The reason for this is that, in the Monday night Intro to Intermediate, I've now started trying to lotus myself into the first part of Karandavasana (forearm stand, make lotus without your hands, lower it to your forearms, pick it up, exit) and I'm getting regular adjustments in it.
Here's how that class works: Carol, who is the root of all Indy ashtanga, teaches. Lisa and I, both of whom also teach our own things at this studio, are regular students. Various experienced or not-so-much people wander in and out. It's hard to say just who's regular. We always do Intermediate from the first sun salutation to at least Eka Pada Sirsasana, and sometimes if it's a beginnerish crowd we cut Supta Vajrasana, and we usually only do ONE of the two Bakasanas (those who can jump, just do B; those who can't, just do A).
Since some Kapo-able people have been showing up since spring, that pose is now something we actually do. I go back twice: the first time I fingertip the floor and try to rock up (often that works), and then I go back "for real" and Carol gradually and gently helps me walk the hands in; I have yet to touch my feet doing my Indianapolis Kapo, but I got my elbows really near the floor last night. It is coming along.
Eka Pada, since I've been leaving it out of my regular practice, has gotten stiffer on the right side (predictably). I try to twist a bit, to crank MORE shoulder and LESS neck into the thigh, and I usually only lose the behind-head bit when I press up for the exit, which is fine. On the left, I usually stick the whole pose.
Dwi Pada is flexier than Eka Pada; it's as if the hips give me more space once I've done Eka Pada, sort of asking them to loosen up. BUT I think I'm still a bit too round, to clasp the ankles behind my head. If I either had more verticality in the spine or shorter legs, I could hook it no problem, but it's a big flexy, slippery mess, like trying to serve noodles with a spatula.
Recently our goal pose (time-wise) in this class has been Pincha Mayurasana, and we usually do a ton of variations there; some folks go to the wall, some take a shot at Karanda, most everyone gives a Vrschikasana (forearm scorpion; put the feet on or toward your head) a try. Then we run out of time so we backbend and close.
So my Monday-class practice winds up being:
Sun salutations/standing
Pasasana (still no bind, reliably, going to the left)
Krounchasana and "baby" (hah!) backbends
Kapo, progressively deeper
Supta Vajrasana on a good day (cannot hold toes all the way through)
Bakasana and twists
Eka Pada Sirsasana
some kind of effort at Dwi Pada; Yoganidrasana isn't hard
Tittibhasana sequence (which is still hard but enjoyable-hard, if that makes sense)
Pincha (which I'm now sticking on the SECOND try, rather than the first)
Karanda (in which I make lotus with assistance and then burn out in the upper back and the base)
Vrschi (which feels round, but I can't see my feet)
Sometimes I add on Mayurasana and Nakrasana if people are experimenting with Pincha and variations.
Soreness: from trying to hold the lotus upright in Karanda. It's just muscle development, teaching myself to hold Pincha, then exit (which I try to do, to chaturanga), and then popping up AGAIN for Karanda, folding the legs in, which is slow for me, and takes about 10 breaths with help. This means I spend 5-8 breaths in Pincha and then about 13-15 probably in my Karanda variation, and so no freakin' wonder I'm sore in the upper back. But it is coming! I'm stronger every time I try it, and soon I'll be asking Carol if we can play with the lower down. The proprioception (perception of body in space) is killer!
***********************************
I remain deeply enamored of the Lion Sequence from Matthew's Vinyasa Krama book. The opening standing-backbend and lunges are JUST what I need before I kick into sun salutations. SOOOOOOOOOO good on tight hip flexors! Pure happiness! I mean, it SERIOUSLY changes my emotional state for the better, to do a few of these "Chandra Namaskara." Definite magic.
August: here's the schedule. Finish this week; preparation of syllabi, general getting ready for the fall. Go to the Boston area from Aug 10-14. Hit some morning Mysore, find a way to meet Cody. Meet nephew (who is a little over a year old). Hang with family, have good times. Return here for a hectic week of class prep and then begin the fall semester, August 20, with an afternoon film class.
It will be a film class, some grading for an intro-art-history course with 160 students, and as of late September, also an English Composition gig. I will also be doing my second immersion in the job market, and going to a conference in Austin, TX (hi Liz!) in October, and then the big hiring (cross fingers!) conference in San Francisco (!!) at the end of December.
Then in January I'm a Visiting Assistant Professor, and I have meetings, real income (well, real-ER income) and perhaps campus visits and offers of tenure-track employment.
That's the year. If the job market doesn't pay off, I'll scrape cash together over the summer, do my FALL semester of Visiting Assistant, and then get a REAL LIVE JOB for the spring, and that'll be either the year I get hired or the "third strike" in the academic job market, and after that, it's over. Total reinvention. But that's far away, and I'm sure it'll work this year.
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