Forget your Story.

Briefly, stories involve origins and your story both shows who you think you are and keeps you that person. Who are you? You're this story.

This is why they call psychoanalysis the talking cure (although in Freudian usage back in the day, this was meant to cure physical symptoms with psychological origin, not to just recut your story).

Forget your story; abandon psychodrama.

It's to the point now that I can tell precisely where my ego is, by looking for where the pain stops. That border cleanly outlines the ego. And I can practically CHOOSE whether or not to live in that place. So two things of note: One, it's a place, that I can identify so cleanly that I can almost put my hands on it. Two, it's a choice as to whether or not to see the world through that lens.

This is something I didn't think would be possible say, a year ago, or even four months ago. There was this puzzle--well, ok, "the hard way", right? But what now? What am I going to progress to through this? Where does it lead?

First came some equanimity, but it wasn't solid. I could lose it, slip out of it, sink into pain, fear, rage, intense emotions. WTF?

Second, came this. Equanimity's still there, but it's optional. The ego pain is optional (well, not for the ego itself; better said, LIVING in the ego pain is optional).

So now it's a matter of STEERING.

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Forget your story; your story is your ego's story. The story of "you," yourself. The ego's story. It's not evil, it's not bad, you don't get enlightenment when you forget it. Hating the ego is as pointless as anything else; there's no need to do that.

But forget your story because YOU CAN LIVE WITHOUT IT.

How am I typing this right now, who is "I", who is doing this typing? I don't feel pain, although I'm aware that there is pain in me, which means that "I" am aware of the pain "my ego" feels. Who the fuck are the TWO OF US? See?

Of course the Sutras, for example, have clean answers for this. The quintessential clean answer: you're Awareness, not the ego. Congratulations.

Draw back from history, which whether you know it or not, TELLS you how to feel about things. Think about that for a minute. Here, I'll give you a moment's silence to think that one through.

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Draw back from history that tells you, for example, that this time's sexual frustration is an ECHO of all of the past evils of past sexual frustrations. There's NO NEED for it to stack up like that, and in fact, we lose all specificity and marvelousness, all PRESENTNESS, by letting the past dominate the present like that.

So forget your story, not because you want amnesia for those factoids and those beliefs, but because you want liberation from how they FORCE YOU TO THINK about your present day circumstances.

Forget it.

Do the Sutras say this? Of course they do. But it's a different universe to find this on your own, to put your OWN language to it from experience and then find it ECHOED there.

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Forget the ego's story and stop living in it, but keep living.

It's like looking up from a book.