1. Intermediate through Karanda, only because it felt so damn good yesterday. Right now I think this is the practice for a while.
2. Neurosis round 2, set off by friends who are working on a second kid. Suprising depth and intensity of anger, jealousy.
3. Kapo toes last night, footpad today. No months of work required. Cool.
4. Standing up is hard because rocking up intensifies the lumbar bend and psoas demand BEFORE the springiness comes from the thighs to the abs. In Kapo terms, it's because you do Kapo B before you do come up, even when standing from backbend.
5. Fully committed now to beating the neurosis once and for all. Victory here is literally moksha. I expect it to take all this lifetime.
6. Don't see it as an enemy (that just makes it reproduce) but put SPACE into relating to it. Take a BIG dose of Trungpa on this, before turning it into the Gita.
7. I can't tell anymore if desire belongs to me or doesn't. "I" is becoming even more permeable and a little bit irrelevant. This is unspeakably painful but good when I can see it clearly.
8. J wants me to read books about householding, about ordinary lives, so I'll be happier. You can't be the witch doctor and be happy with that. We negotiated that I will try to find books on parenting experiences (fiction or not) that are anywhere close to my own. I could use an echo, some company.