J and I had a long conversation (and that NEVER happens, not even about work, most days) which was all about interpersonal relating, the parent-child bond, and introvert/extrovert tendencies, that I found quite enlightening on a number of levels. We used to have chewy thinky conversations like this all the time.
We did NOT talk about our own relationship, although I said and discovered a few things that were really informative about how we currently work together.
I bring this up because it helps me form links between what was true and untrue about my relationship with my own parents (see the post about the Thursday emotional death trip a few posts back), and what's true and untrue about my relationship with my kid (about which I don't say much, partly out of privacy and partly out of not knowing HOW TO, and now I know more about that) and partly about how we both (J and I, that is) manage relating to other people, which touches (if you're me) directly on my interest in affect and evil, because my classroom is nothing if not an interpersonal relating site (education is relational; ideas feel good; evil is tactile, is fleshed).
I've said various things in different posts that circle all around a sort of broader statement about energy and intimacy and power and communication and all of that. When I have time, I'll try to write out the bigger picture. One could go all the way back to the "crushing" post, too, that's in the mix as well (and as I said in that post when I wrote it, I'm not actually trying to talk about a specific energy, but a general one).